Most of the times, when you are about to interact with someone with whom you have a difficult relationship, you have preconceived notions about what is going to work, show up or what is not.
Thus, you are pre-programmed and almost prepared, which is unfortunate though, what ways would you react and respond. All of your thought, ideas, beliefs and notion you carry pre-loaded in your neurology. This shapes your physiology. My mentors Siri and Sat Khalsa, refer as ‘somatic patterns’. Sat humorously states, “you are living a Yoga of mistrust, depression and spoiling relationships.”
What you need to do is become aware of ‘map of your mental world.’
In fact, this is your invisible handshake, the way you unconsciously carry these patterns. You invite perfect response from the person you interact with on the basis of what you communicate unconsciously, rather than what you consciously state.
“All that you carry affects your micro muscles movements by way of contracting or relaxing,” Siri Khalsa explains in her ‘Kundalini Leadership’ classes for corporate professionals. She helps leaders to develop ‘Yogic Presence’, so that, leaders have not to pressurise or persuade, others co-operate and co-create what is desirable.
So, if you want to others to respond cooperatively, nicely and productively, learn to improve the quality of your ‘Invisible Handshake’ or ‘unconscious rapport’.
One simple way to accomplish this is, to mindfully observe someone who is a masterfully living the excellence you need somewhere in your life. So, think of someone with whom, the person with whom you want to improve relationship, he or she has wonderful relationship. Anyone with whom this person gets along very well or amicably. Recall the way they interact. Allow your consciousness to help you as if you have gone inside the skin of this person. Don’t think but let it occur, the way this person holds intentions and interact and deal with this person. Become mindful of the map of mind of this person and allow the micro movement of muscles to adjust and change your physiology. Finally become aware of the energy field that build up inside out and anchor yourself into it deeply. Next time you meet the person with whom, you, intent to improve relationship, allow the new energy field and just learned micro muscular movement to adjust your experience and expression. Thus, meet with improved ‘Invisible handshake’. Notice the difference it makes.
If you still find this person, difficult, resisting, rigid, stubborn and finicky, get inside her skin, experiment to understand his or her map of mind and deeper intentions. Establish mindful connection, being inside his or her skin, and sense for a few moments, and make sure you are one level up in your energy and firmed up muscles. Notice the way it improves your interaction.
Remember, Invisible Handshake is Master Key to make all relationships work.